A Great Loss

Saturday we had to flush the fish. It was dying, and I could not stand to watch it anymore.

This fish came into our family about 6 or 7 years ago. Carolyn Smith was helping with a youth Halloween carnival in her ward. She invited Kurt and Kris to come. They won about 8 or 9 goldfish from the fishing pond. They were so excited to bring them home. One by one the little fish started dying. Every day we would flush another dead fish. Then, it came down to just one fish.

This fish is a survivor. Not only did he survive the death of several of his friends, but he has survived many other things too. He survived the move to St. George 4 years ago. He rode all the way, splashing in his little bowl. He lived with us for a month in the condo while we were looking for a house.

Awhile after we moved into our new house, Kyle sent a fish tank home from his mission. It was one that they had kept a frog in. It was just the right size for our fish. We moved him into his new home where he swam happily for years. In fact, with the bigger fish tank, our fish grew bigger. It seemed to outgrow it's color. It was mostly white instead of gold, but had the most beautiful tail fin I have ever seen on a fish.

The last couple of months he started not doing so well. He had a large growth just under his tail fin. We would often find him laying on his side during the day. We would tap on the glass and he would start swimming again. Soon, the growth became bigger. It was almost like a bubble that would keep him floating on top of the water. I did some research on the internet and thought I had found his problem. Swimmers Bladder. It can be cause by eating too many dry fish food flakes. All the articles said to not feed your fish for a couple of days. After that, you should feed them boiled peas. After not feeding him for a few days, the growth became smaller. We started boiling peas for our fish. (At this point, the fish was eating more nutritious meals than my boys). Soon he seemed to be feeling better, and swimming back to normal again.

Unfortunately, we noticed that he had a problem with his eye. You could see right into it, like it didn't exist. Kilie, our eye specialist, said that he had macular degeneration of his eye. Ohh, that was so sad. Our poor little fish only had one eye. It was not noticeable until you turned the light on in the tank. Then it became very obvious that his eye was gone.

Soon the growth was back. Didn't seem to matter what or when he ate. He got to where he was slowing down and hardly swimming at all. He would rest his little head on a leaf on the plant and just float there. One night it was so sad that we had to put a towel over the fish tank. I couldn't watch anymore. We fully expected him to be dead in the morning.

Next morning we removed the towel to find him still swimming around. That is, swimming, and then floating on his leaf. We continued to watch him and tapped on the glass regularly to keep him awake and moving. Soon, even the tapping on the glass didn't seem to make him swim. He was old and tired. I kept thinking that he would give up and die, but that didn't happen. Like I said earlier, our fish was a survivor.

I had asked the boys to flush the fish, but no one wanted to be the one to do it. Finally, when they were all outside, I took our little goldfish to the new fish bowl. (The porcelain bowl) I flushed the toilet, cried for awhile, but was so relieved when it was finally done. I couldn't watch our fish die any longer. Kurt and Kris want to buy a new fish to put in the bowl, but if that happens, they are gong to have to keep it in their room. I can't give another piece of my heart to a fish.